Metal Gear is one of the most beloved and influential video game series’ of all time. Created by Hideo Kojima and published by Konami, the series pioneered the action-stealth genre. But, when a franchise lasts for over three decades, it runs the risk of becoming a convoluted mess of ideas. In the case of Metal Gear, however, being a convoluted mess of ideas is what the series has become known for.
Here are 11 things that still don’t make a lick of sense about Metal Gear in 2022. They could be things that are explained in-universe, but looking back at them poses even more questions. Or, they could be things that weren’t properly explained and, all things considered, likely never will be explained. In any case, let’s brush up on our CQC and dive into the wacky world of Metal Gear.
Top 11 Things That Don’t Make Sense About Metal Gear
11. The Sheer Concept of Liquid Ocelot
In Metal Gear Solid, the Cyborg Ninja — who is eventually revealed to be Gray Fox — slices Revolver Ocelot’s arm off. Subsequently, he transplants an arm from the recently deceased Liquid Snake, which … I’m no surgeon, but I don’t know if that’s possible. In any case, it’s then that we start to see this arm take possession of Ocelot’s body, and he changes his name to … Liquid Ocelot.
It’s eventually revealed that … he altered his nanomachines and underwent hypnotherapy to make himself believe that he was actually Liquid Snake, all to achieve his 4D-chess ideals. I still don’t know how much I buy this explanation, though I can’t deny that Liquid Ocelot is probably the coolest character in the series.
10. Naked Snake, Venom Snake, Punished Snake … Too Many Snakes!
In Metal Gear Solid 3, players take control of Naked Snake, the man who will someday become Big Boss. In fact, he becomes Big Boss in the final act of this game, when he brings down his old mentor, The Boss. Then, in Metal Gear Solid V, we’re introduced to Punished “Venom” Snake, who — believe it or not — isn’t the same character as Naked Snake/Big Boss.
I get that they did this to explain how Big Boss, a character who was killed in a 1987 MSX2 game made an appearance in the 1990 sequel, also on MSX2. I would argue that we didn’t need an explanation of that. Especially given the reveal that Big Boss survived his death a second time, until Metal Gear Solid 4.
9. What Happened to Miller?!
Kazuhira “Kaz” Miller debuted as a survival consultant for FOXHOUND in Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake. In addition to claiming his name was actually “McDonnell Benedict Miller,” he insisted his protégé refer to him as “Master,” which is just as, if not equally, pretentious. It turns out, in a retcon that puts many others to shame, that Miller once worked closely with Solid Snake’s father/genetic source, Big Boss.
Miller would appear once more in Metal Gear Solid. But, it would come to light that this was just Liquid Snake in disguise, and that Miller had been assassinated. I fail to believe, however, that the Miller who we see as the second-in-command for Militaires Sans Frontières and Diamond Dogs would be taken out.
8. Quiet. Just … Just Quiet.
In Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, a character who goes by the name of Quiet is introduced. Quiet caused a fair amount of controversy thanks to her character design. You see, Quiet’s costume leaves little to the imagination, and some fans were upset by this. It didn’t help that Kojima defended this decision on Twitter by saying that “once [they] recognize the secret reason for her exposure, [they] will feel ashamed of [their] words and deeds,” which only served to rile up the critics more.
It turns out, this “secret reason for her exposure” is that, because of plot reasons, Quiet breathes from her skin. It’s that simple, but no matter how much they try to explain it in-game, it still makes no sense. I mean, don’t get me wrong — I still like the character, but that’s despite the writing, not because of it.
7. How was Big Boss the Leader of FOXHOUND?
In Metal Gear, the big twist is supposed to be that Big Boss, the leader of FOXHOUND, is actually the leader of the enemy fortress, Outer Heaven. Now, given information revealed in Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, we now know that it wasn’t actually Big Boss, but rather, Venom Snake in Outer Heaven.
But — if The Patriots were in control of most dealings in the United States, why would they ever let Big Boss take control of a military organization after the bad blood between him and Zero? Mind you, this isn’t the sentient AI constructs, this is the very human variant. I understand that they needed Big Boss on their side, but the truth is that he wasn’t.
6. Who Would Name Their Child ‘Hot Coldman’?
No, but … for real. In a world where parents are naming their children after anime characters and tyrannical despots from Game of Thrones, would anyone seriously name their child Pacifica Ocean?! I get that most, if not all of the characters in this series wield codenames, but my point stands.
5. Metal Gear and Metal Gear 2’s Canonicity
Metal Gear and Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake are, for what they’re worth, still decent games to play today. But, despite the player character being Solid Snake, they almost feel like they exist in a vacuum. I mean, consider the fact that Metal Gear 2’s plot revolves around OILIX, a bio-organism that can generate oil. If OILIX is a thing that exists in-universe, why then, is it necessary to transport oil in Metal Gear Solid 2?
4. Electrolytes and Memes
Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance is, despite suggestions to the contrary, an entry in the Metal Gear series. It is very obviously a loosely connected spinoff, however, as any references to the flagship series are limited. In this hack-n-slash, players step into the cyborg body of Raiden, the player character for Metal Gear Solid 2, but this time he’s less whiny and more angsty. In fact, the main method of healing in this game is taking the electrolytes — or, in the words of YouTuber Max0r, partaking of the Gatorade Eucharist — of enemies and absorbing the nutrients. I have no idea how that works, and to be honest, I don’t want to know.
3. Never Be Game Over
Let’s not mince words: Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain was an unfinished game. It was so unfinished, for example, that more or less the entire second half of the story is repeating missions that were completed canonically in the first half, for padding. It was so unfinished, an entire community of theorists was established on Reddit in an effort to figure out how to unlock the fabled third chapter.
I am including this here to illustrate how little sense it made to release Metal Gear Solid V at all. It had very little to do with the ongoing plot. While it did create a canonical pathway for Metal Gear and Metal Gear 2, it takes some mental gymnastics to explain why this game was even needed. It was a fun game, but any time I think about giving it another run, that atrocious story convinces me to just play something else.
2. The Practical Effect of The Patriots
So, what were The Patriots again? I understand that they were — originally — a group who controlled the United States from the shadows. But, at some point in the early-to-mid aughts, they were replaced with a series of sentient AI constructs. I think that much is clear. What I have trouble understanding is how they managed to do this without raising some massive red flags.
If the Patriots were a series of sentient AI constructs who could make their own decisions, how did they actually go about fulfilling these decisions? Did they have tangible proxies who could deliver upon their judgments? I use this as an example, but … if GW needed to get laundry done, how would they do so?! I mean, obviously an AI wouldn’t need to get laundry done, but there are plenty of things that can only be done in the physical world, especially in the early-to-mid aughts. HOW DID THEY DO THESE THINGS?!
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1. Why Konami Still Hasn’t Made a New Game
I fail to understand why Konami hasn’t made a new Metal Gear game since Metal Gear Survive in 2018. I understand that, after their breakup, Kojima has since gone on to bigger and questionably better things. But, what is the reason why Konami hasn’t gotten over their grief and either licensed or sold the franchise to Kojima Productions?! If they’re not going to do anything with it, give it to someone who will!!
Published: Jul 1, 2022 03:50 pm