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How To Unlock Chocobo Companions In Final Fantasy 14

Best 10 final fantasy 14 copypasta

In need of a laugh?

There isn’t a doubt that the online community has definitely grown over the last couple of decades, as everyone continues to plug into the internet. One thing that really hasn’t changed though is the copypasta that we see in forums, reviews, and even game chat. One title that has some pretty strong and hilarious copypastas to find right now, is nonother than Square Enix’s own Final Fantasy XIV. So, why don’t we take a look at some of the most ridiculous? Today, let’s check out the best 10 Final Fantasy XIV copypasta!

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Best 10 final fantasy 14 copypasta

The Critically Acclaimed MMORPG

Have you heard of the critically acclaimed MMORPG Final Fantasy XIV with an EXPANDED FREE TRIAL? Which you can play through the entirety of A Realm Reborn and the award winning Heavensward Expansion up to level 60 for FREE with no restrictions on playtime.

World of Warcraft Furry

Hey guys,

As many of you are probably aware, the World of Warcraft team just announced their next expansion. I’m gonna be real honest with y’all, I don’t really enjoy that game much anymore, but they’ve hooked me back with one upcoming feature — the Dracthyr. For the longest time I’ve been a closeted scalie (a non-furry furry), and while FFXIV scratches that itch with Au Ra, nothing comes close to what WoW is adding. I can finally be myself in a video game!

I know many of you won’t want to hear this, but I’m going to be leaving FFXIV to go live my dreams out in WoW. I’ve made a lot of great friends here, in various different aspects of the community. From raiding to fighting dozens of others for a small plot, to mahjong and roleplaying. It truly has been a blast, and I’ll never forget the memories we made together. You all mean the world to me!

But this doesn’t have to be farewell! If you want to join me, I’m going to be playing on Wyrmwrest Accord. It’s one of the roleplaying servers of WoW, and I’m going to be making my Dracthyr there. I know the expansion isn’t going to be for a while, but I need to start preparing now — catching up on my lore, writing a backstory, figuring out my addons, etc. Then when I can finally shed my skin and show my glorious scales, I’ll be ready. I can spread my wings and finally do what Au Ra can’t — lay some eggs.

Until then! o7

Final Fantasy XIV Will Replace World of Warcraft

I’ve been saying 🤠🗣 for years 📅 that Final 🙏 Fantasy 😴 XIV will replace 😰😞 WoW 😮 on 🔛 the MMO throne 👑, and I 👁 have finally 🙏 been proven 😂 right ✔.

More people 👨 are logging 🌳 in daily 📆 for FFXIV, the new 🆕 expansion 🙈🙉 outsold the last 😍 WoW 🙀 effort 💪🏇🔨 by an enormous 👲🏽 margin ➡🤨, and it’s gaining 🏋 multiple 🔢 subscriptions 📬 for every 💯🤬 one 1️⃣ that Blizzard 🌨💦😱 loses 💔. Just goes 🏃 to show 📺 that when ⏰ you 👉 have polish 📴, innovation 💩, and a team 👥 willing 💩 to show 📺 that they give 🎁 a f*ck 👉👌 about 💦 the game 🎮 and the people 👨 playing 🚫🎮 it, it’ll eventually 💦🍆 overcome 🅰 the competition 🤔💯 as people 👫👨 realize 🤔 that they’re missing 👉 out.

I 👥 played 🎮 Shadowlands and honestly 😇, even 🌃 if Blizzard 🌨 didn’t have the huge 😤 ass 🍑 controversy 😡 it had over 😳🙊💦 the summer ☀, WoW 🙀 would have still 🤞🙌 miserably 🍑 failed 🚫 because the game 🎱 quality 👌 is so poor 💸 and they refuse 🙅 to listen 👂🏼 to people 👫👦👧 who want 😍 to make 💘 it better 👍.

A White Mage Rant

F*ck you, ASTs. I don’t care if you’re the best healer in the game right now because you are A** to play. Your personal damage is sh*t and you just have to hope and pray that your teammates are making good use of your damage buffs. You get NO feedback, no satisfaction, from the core gimmick of your job, unless you use parse mods. That’s certified lame. Also, your RNG is dumb, I don’t care that Divination doesn’t require seals anymore, your new buff move with the seals is stupid. And you have such sh*t aim they had to make Earthly Star a g*ddamn raid-wide. Your objectively more enjoyable gimmick got literally bisected in Endwalker and to make up for it they gave you the stupidest healing move in the game. I hope you like doing nothing but waiting until you can use Macro Cosmos again because all you have in between is stupid a** cards like an elementary schooler hiding their Pokemon collection under the table.

Scholars, don’t think you’re getting away with it either. You’re just a worse AST. You’re the Monk of healers. Good output but so painful to play that no one uses it anyway. Your moveset has no synergy, your pet is jank, and the only interesting gimmick you had was gutted several expansions ago. Also, the Arcanist levelling system is dumb. I bet most of you are only playing SCH to not have to deal with DPS queues for Summoner. And Expediency is just the “useful but boring as sh*t” cherry on top of the “useful but boring as sh*t” ice cream sundae. I hope you like being drafted into Extreme trials just so you can make the other people’s rotations drift slightly less and also spam your one other decent move that is only remotely good when it crits. F*ck off, I hope you bite your tongue while chomping down on your fairy.

Sages, you’re new and I’m not going to judge you quite yet. Although you certainly don’t seem to be the Green DPS everyone was hoping you’d be. Maybe in a couple months when all the newbie healers have dropped you to go back to Samurai I can sentence you properly. Until then- USE YOUR G*DDAMN ESUNAS.

So let’s cut to the chase. White Mage is the coolest, most fun healer and it’s not even close. Literally the only downside is starting at Level 1 and that doesn’t stop classes like Paladin from being popular as f*ck. Endwalker has taken what made us good and made us even better and it’s not even funny how great we are. We are the best healer for dungeons and alliance raids with the absolute beast that is Holy. That’s right, the spell that saved the goddamn world in that one FF game everyone knows about, we toss it out like candy on Halloween. Best stun in the game and it’s on a healer. That’s right f*ckers, Damage Is Mitigation, Stun is Mitigation, WHITE MAGE IS MITIGATION. All the other healers have to wait for you to take damage or predict incoming damage to heal, meanwhile I’m throwing Glares at the boss like I’m causing the g*ddamn Flood. AST can’t even do its own damage, it has to chuck dinky buffs at randos and hope they don’t suck. The enemy can’t hurt my teammates if it’s dead. The only HP bar I am looking at is at the enemy’s and how quickly it goes from 100% to 0. Oh, and if the tank absolutely needs my help (probably not if it’s a Paladin who seem to be all the rage these days) I can just weave in one of my several oGCDs. Yeah that’s right AST, you’re not special anymore, f*ck off. Oh, Sage can deal DPS while healing? First of all, Kardion healing is super weak, that’s why you have all those other buttons. Second of all, I can do that too, it’s called Assize. (And Holy is super good dps/stun mitigation so like. That’s basically healing too.) Oh, and my charged instant cast heal that’s equal to a Cure II in potency charge up my other other monstrously good AOE attack. SCH and SGE can put shields? Wow, so can I, it’s called Divine Benison and I can store two charges now. That’s mainly for keeping me alive though (I have to get into the thick of things for my Holys; not everyone can send their fairy in to do their work for them.) If the tank actually needs healing? Eh, that’s what Asylum, Regen, and Medica II are for. I’m a regen healer, after all. If I’m busting out the Cure IIs, someone has f*cked up somewhere. Oh, and the DPS can get some regen too I guess, Medica II is an aoe after all. I’m basically a DPS myself though so we don’t always need the luxury of some Red Floor Tanks.

Blood for the blood lily. I am the master of life and death. I choose the fates of my enemies and allies alike. Try and stand in my way, and you will face the wrath of the elements, the earth, the light, and Hydaelyn herself.

Related: Final Fantasy XIV (FFXIV) – Where to Find Earthbreak Aethersand

I’ll Never Forget the Rabanastre Run

Haha, wow! In Halatali, of all places. Dude has his head shoved so far up his a** he’s gonna need a map and compass to find the way out. Don’t be that tank, guys. Just don’t.

Don’t be that healer, either, come to think of it. I’ll never forget the Rabanastre run I joined last month in which my co-healer decided he was going to teach us a lesson for not following his sage advice. As we were going into Hashmal, co-healer decided we needed to wait for weakness to fall off our one DPS that had to be raised. Everyone else went right into battle though. I’ll grant that it’s the toughest fight in Rabanastre, but anyone in their right mind would conclude that one DPS afflicted with weakness is about as negligible as it gets.

Regardless, he declared that he wasn’t going to heal. Must have figured he was king of the raid or something. In response, I was like “k, I got this I guess” and the rest of us cleared the fight in one go while he spent his incredibly valuable time b*tching in party chat. We voted that pr*ck off the island as soon as the last bit of loot was claimed, it was the most vindicated I’d felt in ages.

Learning How to Tank

Listen Up! I am still learning how to tank,

but I am still YOUR Tank. DO NOT pull Aggro,

that is My job.

Should you decide to advance without your Tank

(me)

I will let you die, and I encourage the rest of

the party to let you learn

the consequence of your actions.

You may be a higher level outside this dungeon,

however that DOES NOT excuse you from poor and selfish behaviour.

So either Re-learn the patience required for a well functioning team,

Or Get Out Of The Way. No hotheads will be tolerated.

In summery; Perform YOUR class, Do YOUR job, Respect YOUR teammates, or stand aside.

FFXIV Amazon Review

Despite being in metric time, card fulfilled its obligations, although it may have actually been 18 seconds shorter than a full 60 days. I’ll need to re-check my calculations. I spent every minute of those 60 days in-game to get my money’s worth. My pets died of starvation and my wife left me for our pool boy Hernando, so I suppose its working as intended. On the plus side, I lost fifty pounds maxed every crafting class, and was Eternally Bonded to a Miqo’te named Purrs Mcfuzzyboots. I no longer require my wife, because I have Purrs Mcfuzzyboots. She provides me with Rosewood Logs, all my wife ever gave me was food. Puurs also said she’s a Miqo’te IRL (in real life, for you non-gamer types). I couldn’t be happier. Thank you, Square Enix, and thank you, Amazon. Five stars.

Rules From A Healer and A Tank

/p just to prevent some missunderstandings here are 3 rules…
/p =====================================
/p 1. Bosses should be the hardest part of dungeons
/p not random trashmobs infront of them
/p –> NO rush! NO big pulls!
/p 2. I’m participate as HEALER so it is NOT my job to DPS
/p –>keep that in mind please!
/p 3. It’s not needed to keep u up to 100% HP all the time
/p –> If u do everything correctly i wont let u die – I promise!
/p srsly… u wanna die?
and

/p just to prevent some missunderstandings here are 5 rules…
/p =====================================
/p 1. I participate as TANK so it is NOT my job to DPS ->keep that in mind please!
/p 2. NO rush! only one mob at a time!
/p 3. I am a tank, I will do nothing but aggro combo and nothing else!
/p 4. I will use cooldowns only when I am below 30% to give my healer somethiing to do when they refuse to do anything else :ok_hand:
/p 5. Dps are dps, healers are healers, but make sure no to overstep your boundaries!~

Urianger Monolog

Pray, elucidate unto me thine belligerancy once more, youth… Erstwhile, while thou hast frittered thine days away in indolence, mine own excellence hath soared higher than the peaks of Sohm Ahl, nay, to the very vaults of the heavens themselves! From the collegiate of Baldesion, to the deepest reaches of Garlemald, fifteen-score men have I lain low, with the grace and skill of chirurgeons of legend, and all the rancor of the Primals and their beastmen subjugate. Thou art yet but one more fetid soul to rend unto Oblivion. Verily, the wrath I have yet to bear upon thine personage will be found even within the tomestones of ancient Allag, so great will thine suffrance be of mine ire, that even time itself will disobey its casual flow and rescribe history forthwith; Hearken to me, cur. Thine words reach mine ears and they resolve into naught but coyness, replete of filth and ignorance. Thine puissant scribework, as grotesque as an unmasked Goblin. Pray, and speak true, dost thou truly believe thineself equal to mine own personage? Nay. Ere long, mine compatriots shall away and arrive anon to thine dwelling, fire and fury in their breasts, stell bared, and cantrip upon the ready. Thou’rt doomed, wastrel; even The Mothercrystal weeps for what shall befall thee. Nay, not even the Twelve themselves shall shelter thee from mine ardor, and even the Ascians will decry my cruelty whenceforth issued. Such will be mine wrath, that it shall bring about the true Eighth Umbral Calamity. Thy glibness hath only wrought ire and fury, and not even the Warrior of Light will be able to save you from mine. For I hath drawn forth the cards of eld, and thine fortunes spelt plain. Thou’rt f*cked, churl.

10/10 Review

10/10 Comfort AND durability!

I can freely swing my sword and shield about without fear of getting caught in armor nooks and crannies. The material is made from deep sea fibers and offers outstanding protection. The full set gains instant admiration of the craftmanship and creativity that came from the Ruby Princess’ Fashionista

Donald Duck, Destroyer of Worlds

If we really think about it, Donald Duck is one the most dangerous characters in all of Square Enix. He takes 3rd place just behind the special event Bahamut from Final Fantasy 14, and Airy from Bravely Default. Why so? Simple he casted Zetta Flare in Kingdom Hearts. Airy has shown that she could destroy entire realities with it. In Final Fantasy 14, the normal Bahamut reset a world with Teraflare. The special event version was capable of casting Zetta flare, a version of teraflare thats several times stronger. No other character in any of the other characters in all of square enix has been able to cast Zetta Flare including many gods. We can effectively place Donald as the 3rd most powerful character in All of the Square Enix Games. He can destroy planets and stars. Just imagine it. Donald F*cking Duck destroying worlds.


So, now you’ve seen the top 10 best FFXIV copypasta! Be sure to check out some of our other copypasta content too, like “Top 10 Best Roblox Copypasta”. And don’t forget to like Gamer Journalist on Facebook to be kept in the loop for even more upcoming content!

Author
Image of Nathaniel Litt
Nathaniel Litt
Hi! I'm Nathaniel; Star Wars nerd, musician, and active daydreamer. When it comes to gaming, I'll try anything at least once. My mains though are FPS, Action-Adventure, and Puzzle-Platformers.